Last night, we made up 20 beds! Owen and I volunteered at the Ronald McDonald House. We realized we've been volunteering there for over three years! It all came about after we'd been dating a little while. Owen mentioned how he used to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity and I was (and am) a big proponent of volunteerism, so it seemed like a natural fit to spend one "date night" a month giving our time to something beyond ourselves and the little love bubble we were living in!

Regardless of whatever else we're distracted by during any given month, when we walk through the front door of the RM House, we're immediately both brought to the same space in the present--it's probably the closest we get to Kabat-Zinn's ideas about mindfulness.

As we go about our Friday night task list, whether it's unloading dishwashers, cleaning out fridges, making beds, or baking up some cookies, I experience a quiet yet profound sense of awareness and gratefulness for each of these tasks we've been given. Being in the present, our attention is simply focused on this ... setting the comforter, two pillows, pillowcases, and top sheet to the side. We take the bottom sheet and fling it out in the air and let it settle on the mattress. Tuck in the edges. Put the top sheet on the bed, then stuff pillows in their cases and put them on the bed. Smooth the comforter on the bed, tucking it in a bit under the pillows. Then we stand back and look down at this bed we just made and wonder, "Will this bed look welcoming to them?" And then we move on to the next room and do this all over again until all the beds are made.

And the reason for our gratefulness perhaps goes unspoken, but it's there like a third person we can sense. We have gratitude because we're the ones who get to be there by choice. We get to be the nice people who volunteer their time bringing small comforts. We're grateful because we are not the ones with a baby in the hospital a block away. We are not the ones laying in a strange bed hundreds of miles from home, wondering whether or not we'll return to that home, to our own bed that smells like us, with our child in tow. 

This past weekend, I attended a (very dignified - no melted chocolate diaper game!) baby shower for a good friend. It's weird and wonderful how we're now getting married and having babies and, I guess, all around, being all grown up. And, we're all in our mid- to late-30s. I guess in the larger world, this is considered "late" in terms of getting the marriage and baby ball rolling, but seriously, what are you supposed to do when you don't meet your future spouse (or still haven't met him/her) until you're well past 30? Amongst each other, it doesn't feel like we're behind. Instead, we remind each other that each of us is exactly where she is supposed to be, right here and now.

I'm really grateful for the wonderful group of women I met, primarily through above-mentioned baby shower friend, when I moved here after college in the late 90s. We enjoyed our singleton status and immersed ourselves in the dynamic and knowing relationships you sometimes can only have with other women. I loved all my years of being single, and often shied away from serious commitment. When that wedding ring was slipped on my finger last year, I knew that I was starting a new chapter in my life ... not one that was better, but rather just as important as being single was for my growth and interior happiness.

And, now some of these friends have moved on to another chapter in their personal histories, welcoming and preparing for new family members. Sometimes, I think it would be pretty cool to be able to go back in time, to say, a night when we were out late night at The Hurricane, chain smoking cigarettes, drinking overly strong and cheap vodka tonics, and be able to say things like ... "You're going to fall in love." "You're going to make partner at your firm." "You're going to be a great mother."

... And absolutely know that it would one day be true.